Your voice: the only sound that truly calms my heart, mind, and mood. I remember hearing your voice for the first time when I was in high school. I busted into my sister’s room where you and my sister were finishing a school project, and I said with a sly grin, “Hi. I’m Brandon.” Striking a goofy pose. I facepalm every time I think about that. At least you laughed and smiled.
That’s what I want for the rest of our lives - just to make you laugh and smile. I want to hold your hand, snuggle you, wrap you in my arms, fixate on your gorgeous green eyes. I don’t care if we can’t be intimate ever again; I just want you, see you. I hope your husband treats you as you deserve. I miss calling you my wife, babe, honey… my love.
Knowing that you cannot see this, it makes it easier to vent my frustrations, desires, and accomplishments.
The nightmare had been more frequent over the last six months. You lay by my side at the park near where we grew up, staring at the cloudless, star-littered sky; smiling, pondering, relaxed. Silently, I glance at you the same you, at me. We stare into one another’s eyes; without a word, we know one is saying to the other, “I’m madly in love with you.” Inch by inch, you slowly lean into me, biting your lower lip as you look at my lips. Suddenly you jump up to straddle over top of me. Pinning me down by my shoulders, you furiously press your warm lips against mine for a few moments. We stop, you sit up, sobbing. The next moment you get up and start running away, and I am unable to pick myself up off the ground, feeling my heart sink into my stomach, tears streaming down my cheeks as I yell, “I LOVE YOU!”
You mentioned you’re visiting next month and I nearly fainted, honestly. It’s been a year since I last saw you and our amazing daughter. That was the happiest week of my life since the birth of our precious.
I love you with all of my heart and soul. All I wish for is your happiness. You’re THE best woman I have ever known.